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Can my ex take the children on holiday without telling me?
Co-parenting can be tricky at the best of times, especially when school holidays arrive and plans start clashing.
While you might assume that a parent can simply book a trip and head off with the children, the reality is not quite so simple.
Who has the final say?
In most cases, both parents will have Parental Responsibility. This means you each have legal rights and obligations when it comes to your child’s welfare, and that includes decisions about holidays abroad.
So, can your ex just take the children out of the country without your say-so?
No, not without your consent, unless they have a specific type of court order in place.
In fact, taking a child abroad without the consent of everyone with Parental Responsibility is a criminal offence under the Child Abduction Act 1984.
Yes, even if the trip is only a short holiday or to visit family.
That might come as a shock to some, but the law is very clear on this point.
Are there any exceptions?
Yes. If your ex has a Child Arrangements Order stating that the children “live with” them, they’re allowed to take the children abroad for up to 28 days without needing your permission, unless a court has specifically ruled otherwise.
Without that court order, they must have your consent. If they don’t, you may have grounds to take legal action.
What if it’s the other way around?
You’re equally bound by the same rules. If you’re planning to go away and your ex-partner has Parental Responsibility, you’ll need their consent before booking anything overseas, unless you hold a court order that says the children live with you.
Overlooking this requirement (even innocently), can lead to serious consequences, especially if your ex decides to object or involve the authorities.
What if we just can’t agree?
Unfortunately, disputes like this are common. You want the children to experience new places.
Your ex might be worried about their routine, missing contact time, or safety abroad. Or perhaps it’s the other way round.
When holiday plans cause friction, mediation can be a helpful next step. This is where a neutral third party helps both of you come to an agreement, ideally without heading straight to court.
What happens if it goes to court?
If you and your ex can’t agree, either of you can apply to the Family Court for a Specific Issue Order. The court will then make a decision based on what’s in the child’s best interests.
They’ll consider things like:
- The reason for the trip
- How it will affect the child’s relationship with the other parent
- Any disruption to the child’s routine or education
- Concerns about safety or potential abduction
If you’re objecting to the holiday, you’ll need to show the court why you believe it wouldn’t be in your child’s best interests.
Don’t forget the paperwork
Even when travel is agreed, it’s sensible to carry the right documents. These might include:
- The child’s birth certificate
- A letter of consent from the other parent
- Copies of any relevant court orders
Border officials in some countries may ask to see this documentation, and having it on hand can help avoid any delays or misunderstandings.
A word on communication
We know it’s not always easy, but try to keep communication open with your ex, particularly when it comes to things like travel.
It can help reduce conflict and keep the focus where it belongs: on the children.
The more you can agree in advance, the less likely you are to find yourself in a stressful legal situation.
Worried about a holiday your ex has booked or want to know your rights before you make plans of your own?
Speak to our Family Law team today for expert advice that will help you understand your options and take the right next step.
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